The other morning at breakfast, Evan belted out the following song...
Monday, September 15, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Oh yeah... We had a Baby
In doing all my updating, I have thus far forgotten to mention that we had our third and absolutely last child. Ainsley was born on August 7, 2008, about a month before her due date. Mom's water broke unexpectedly and after about 12 hours of a whole-lot-of-nothing, the doctors gave her some stuff called "Pit" to push the baby out. Pit apparently makes labor more painful but Beth once again delivered all-natural by waiting too long to ask for drugs. By the time the drugs were ready, the baby was coming out!
Despite being early, everything appears to be fine with Ainsley. The name is Scottish and is not a family name... we just liked it. Ainsley has been gaining weight steadily and has already published her first academic article: Gastrointestinal Reaction; I Poop When I Eat. We are all waiting on her second piece, an expose entitled Why Does My Poop Look Like Gritty Mustard; I Didn't Eat Any Mustard.
Although she is very health, I was worried when we brought her home that something mav have gone wrong:
Turns out she was fine... just not many neck muscles yet.
Despite being early, everything appears to be fine with Ainsley. The name is Scottish and is not a family name... we just liked it. Ainsley has been gaining weight steadily and has already published her first academic article: Gastrointestinal Reaction; I Poop When I Eat. We are all waiting on her second piece, an expose entitled Why Does My Poop Look Like Gritty Mustard; I Didn't Eat Any Mustard.
Although she is very health, I was worried when we brought her home that something mav have gone wrong:
Turns out she was fine... just not many neck muscles yet.
Writer Strike
To protest my lack of free time, physical exhaustion and lack of sleep, I was on a brief writer's strike. The strike has ended. None of my demands were acknowledged or remedied; however, I didn't want to leave my loyal fans without updates about the Vorhis family. Faithfully and to the exclusion of other things more important than this blog, I trudge on...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
3rd of July
Gainesville does its firework display on July 3rd. I don't really know why, but I do appreciate it. It lets you go out of town and still see a fireworks show or see two shows if you choose.
This year, I took Evan to the fireworks show with grandma and grandpa. It was well after his bedtime before the first mortar exploded, but he was very excited to see the show and stayed up with no problems. Evan loved the show and laughed or exclaimed "wow!" after every explosion.
At this age (3), I don't know what Evan will remember when he gets older. Hopefully he will remember times like these.
This year, I took Evan to the fireworks show with grandma and grandpa. It was well after his bedtime before the first mortar exploded, but he was very excited to see the show and stayed up with no problems. Evan loved the show and laughed or exclaimed "wow!" after every explosion.
At this age (3), I don't know what Evan will remember when he gets older. Hopefully he will remember times like these.
Fountain time
Occasionally, after dinner, we'll take Evan and Olivia to a fountain down the street from our house.
They enjoy running around in circles and getting soaking wet in lukewarm, non-chlorinated fountain water. I enjoy it because it requires almost no effort from me. I just sit there and accept debris from the fountain that my children are calling "chips" or "ice cream" or some other food item. As you can see, Olivia enjoys all the bounty the fountain has to offer.
The only part of the fountain trips I don't like its Olivia's chronic dirty-butt syndrome.
They enjoy running around in circles and getting soaking wet in lukewarm, non-chlorinated fountain water. I enjoy it because it requires almost no effort from me. I just sit there and accept debris from the fountain that my children are calling "chips" or "ice cream" or some other food item. As you can see, Olivia enjoys all the bounty the fountain has to offer.
The only part of the fountain trips I don't like its Olivia's chronic dirty-butt syndrome.
Food with a Message
When I was a kid, every once in a while my parents would make us breakfast for dinner. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, ect. As an added bonus, my parents would make pancakes into letters. I believe the primary purpose in this was to entertain us and distract us from the fact they were eating delicious steak.
The tradition continues.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Goldy Locks
Evan's hair has been his signature feature for some time (dimples- a close second). Beth often says it looks just like the hair on the toddler/models in those super-WASPY catalogues where you can pay adult prices for kid clothes.
I think his hair is great for another reason. His curls act as a heat and humidity gauge when out and about. A few weeks ago we were in Tallahassee and went to the playground on a hot Sunday morning. As a result, his hair flattens out and his curls get even tighter. Observe:
I think his hair is great for another reason. His curls act as a heat and humidity gauge when out and about. A few weeks ago we were in Tallahassee and went to the playground on a hot Sunday morning. As a result, his hair flattens out and his curls get even tighter. Observe:
I think that if it gets hot enough this summer, Evan could have a genuine fro.
I have been saying he needed a hair cut for a while now, but Beth was opposed. She finally agreed and got him a haircut this weekend. I would post some photos, but his hair looks almost exactly the same... just a little shorter.
Swimming in FASHION
I get the impression Olivia will is going to be a fashion conscious child, teen and adult. She loves everything pink and is very particular about how she is dressed. This morning she selected a new summer dress from her closet that is still too big for her. Once she convinced Mommy to let her try it on, it was clear it was going to take a team of horses to remove it. Luckily, a team of horses was located from a local farm and the dress was successfully removed.
Often Olivia will go into the master bath and apply a southern beauty queen helping of makeup. She applies a heavy base and then some lip gloss, which she then tries to eat.
Last week, one of the nannies took Olivia to Target while Evan was at school. Olivia would run her fingers through clothes on the racks until her fingers came across a pink sun dress. She pleaded "Try it on!" After Olivia was able to try the dress on, she refused to take it off when asked and instead demanded, "Pay!" Faced with trying to strip down a screaming toddler or buying an $8 dress, you can guess what the nanny did.
My fear is that the $8 dress will turn into the $80 dress which will turn into the $800 prom dress which will turn into the $8000.00+ wedding dress. For that reason, it is important that we never let this fashion focus get out of hand. She could becomes obsessed with her looks, enter beauty pageants, start trying to kill her competition Tonya Harding style, end up in jail where she meets her new boyfriend who then gets her hooked on meth; leading to her eventual demise in a single-wide trailer explosion.
It is a slippery slope.
It is for that reason I post the following picture:
Olivia, don't ever take yourself too seriously.
For those of you who are wondering, those are swimming goggles on her face, which she will gladly wear on her head, as long as we are nowhere near a swimming pool.
Often Olivia will go into the master bath and apply a southern beauty queen helping of makeup. She applies a heavy base and then some lip gloss, which she then tries to eat.
Last week, one of the nannies took Olivia to Target while Evan was at school. Olivia would run her fingers through clothes on the racks until her fingers came across a pink sun dress. She pleaded "Try it on!" After Olivia was able to try the dress on, she refused to take it off when asked and instead demanded, "Pay!" Faced with trying to strip down a screaming toddler or buying an $8 dress, you can guess what the nanny did.
My fear is that the $8 dress will turn into the $80 dress which will turn into the $800 prom dress which will turn into the $8000.00+ wedding dress. For that reason, it is important that we never let this fashion focus get out of hand. She could becomes obsessed with her looks, enter beauty pageants, start trying to kill her competition Tonya Harding style, end up in jail where she meets her new boyfriend who then gets her hooked on meth; leading to her eventual demise in a single-wide trailer explosion.
It is a slippery slope.
It is for that reason I post the following picture:
Olivia, don't ever take yourself too seriously.
For those of you who are wondering, those are swimming goggles on her face, which she will gladly wear on her head, as long as we are nowhere near a swimming pool.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Swiming Lessons
Evan and Olivia just started swimming lessons. They both love it as long as they don't have to put their heads under water, which is apparently one of the first parts of learning how to swim. In any event, they love the whole experience that is the swim lesson. They love getting into their swims suits:
They even love the pre-swim lesson hug:
I would post some pictures of the actual lesson, but I have to be in the water with them.
They even love the pre-swim lesson hug:
I would post some pictures of the actual lesson, but I have to be in the water with them.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Scientist Discover New Disorder
Gainesville, FL- Physicians and researchers at Shands at the University of Florida released a study today documenting a significant disorder among young affluent females. Advanced Shoe Obsession Syndrome (ASOS) can strike victims as young as 18 months in age. Individuals suffering from the condition experience and overwhelming desire to acquire, hold and ultimately wear various kinds of footwear. Side effects include loss of money, loss of closet space, scattered shoes throughout your residence and skinned knees.
Females with regular exposure a large number of adult shoes are at a significantly elevated risk for falling victim to ASOS. Many victims, such as the one pictured below, even find themselves wearing non-fitting shoes of the wrong gender design, putting her at increased risk for looking silly.
At this time, there is no known cure.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
A Child's Dream
When I was a kid, I freaking loved the t.v. series Airwolf. For the people born later than 1985 reading this blog, Wikipeda explains Airwolf in the following way:
Airwolf is an American television series that ran from 1984 through 1987. The program concerned a supersonic military helicopter, code named Airwolf, and her crew as they undertook various missions, many involving espionage, with a Cold War theme.
So when the American Heros Airshow rolled into town and the newspaper article said you could get helicopter rides, I had to go. After a few minutes of pretending to be interested in the Sheriff's helicopter and the Shands helicopter, I found a small folding table with a simple hand-written sign that said: Helicopter Rides.
After paying $35 a person Evan and I were on our way. Notice I didn't say anything about filling out consent forms or a waiver of liability. In fact there was no paperwork whatsoever. As an attorney, this troubled me. I guess they figure if something goes wrong in a helicopter, you're not going to be around to sue.
I was a little worried Evan would freak out mid-flight, but he absolutely loved it. He looked confused and excited as the chopper fired up.
The inside of the chopper was a little smaller than a Honda Civic. We were flying, I don't know... a couple hundred feet off the ground and going about 100 miles an hour. At my request, they flew right over our house.
I never realized how many of my neighbors had pools. After about 5-6 minutes, they headed back to the airshow where we landed safely. For the next two days, Evan yelled out at random "We went on a helicopter ride. We went high in the sky. We landed real soft." Followed by, "Do it again!"
Airwolf is an American television series that ran from 1984 through 1987. The program concerned a supersonic military helicopter, code named Airwolf, and her crew as they undertook various missions, many involving espionage, with a Cold War theme.
So when the American Heros Airshow rolled into town and the newspaper article said you could get helicopter rides, I had to go. After a few minutes of pretending to be interested in the Sheriff's helicopter and the Shands helicopter, I found a small folding table with a simple hand-written sign that said: Helicopter Rides.
After paying $35 a person Evan and I were on our way. Notice I didn't say anything about filling out consent forms or a waiver of liability. In fact there was no paperwork whatsoever. As an attorney, this troubled me. I guess they figure if something goes wrong in a helicopter, you're not going to be around to sue.
I was a little worried Evan would freak out mid-flight, but he absolutely loved it. He looked confused and excited as the chopper fired up.
The inside of the chopper was a little smaller than a Honda Civic. We were flying, I don't know... a couple hundred feet off the ground and going about 100 miles an hour. At my request, they flew right over our house.
I never realized how many of my neighbors had pools. After about 5-6 minutes, they headed back to the airshow where we landed safely. For the next two days, Evan yelled out at random "We went on a helicopter ride. We went high in the sky. We landed real soft." Followed by, "Do it again!"
Friday, May 9, 2008
Sick
Given the nature of this post, I figured people would rather see a picture of my happy children at Sea World than a picture related to the following subject matter.
Everyone at my house is sick. Beth coughs all night long and has been sick for weeks. Olivia has an ear infection and has such a runny nose we might as well surgically attach a tissue to her. Evan has a head cold and pink eye. This is Olivia's fourth ear infection six months. I am suffering from the sleep disorder known as "familis sickus al nitus".
That is one of the reasons I have not put up many posts lately.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Slide Power
After dinner I took the kids to the playground. While Olivia played in the sand, Evan was dutifully working on solving the world's energy problems.
Solar panels: who need 'em? Hydo power: no thanks. Hybrid cars: Damn Hippies! We don't need any of that as we have SLIDE POWER!
We have run into one problem. While Evan can generate enough voltage to stop your heart if you touch him before he gets off the slide, he is not the best battery. He's constantly discharging his energy into anything he touches. The other problem is the amount of time and energy you have to put into Evan. He takes 24 hours of supervision, fresh food and constant attention.
Solar panels: who need 'em? Hydo power: no thanks. Hybrid cars: Damn Hippies! We don't need any of that as we have SLIDE POWER!
We have run into one problem. While Evan can generate enough voltage to stop your heart if you touch him before he gets off the slide, he is not the best battery. He's constantly discharging his energy into anything he touches. The other problem is the amount of time and energy you have to put into Evan. He takes 24 hours of supervision, fresh food and constant attention.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Long Hot Lines
We just completed four very very full days at Disney World. I feel like I just crossed the finish line of the Iron Man Triathlon. The weather was good and the parks were very very crowded. There are a lot of brits going home right now with stroller marks on the back of their legs thanks to Urban Buggy. Luckily Evan and Olivia enjoyed the tram and monorail ride as much as the actual rides.
Riding the train in the Magic Kingdom.
Taking the tram from one of the 12,000 paking spaces for Magic Kingdom.
I never thought I would stand in line for 45 minutes for a ride that last 90 seconds. Luckily Evan did really well waiting in lines. He was happy to swing from the nearest barrier or watch the ride go as we got closer in line.
The trip was not a total success. Olivia fell off the wagon again.
I would write more, but I have to get some sleep so I can catch up on the week of work I missed while we were in Disney.
Riding the train in the Magic Kingdom. 
Taking the tram from one of the 12,000 paking spaces for Magic Kingdom.I never thought I would stand in line for 45 minutes for a ride that last 90 seconds. Luckily Evan did really well waiting in lines. He was happy to swing from the nearest barrier or watch the ride go as we got closer in line.
The trip was not a total success. Olivia fell off the wagon again.
I would write more, but I have to get some sleep so I can catch up on the week of work I missed while we were in Disney.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
There's a blog about me?
Fabulous!
I've been alive for almost two years and I just got my own blog? Talk about over due. I have been doing cute things since the day I was conceived. I also have a lot of opinions and I finally have a forum to expound my political views. Nader '08! End babies' suffrage!
Anyway, for now I will limit my posts to super cute pics and videos. I may even let Evan write something. For example, I went to the butterfly museum with my personal assistant/shopper, Judy.
As you can see I looked stunning in a new outfit mommy got for me.
It's now several hours past my bed time and I have to be up in the early early morning hours to scream into something called a "monitor base". I really don't know why I do it. I guess it is just fun.
Introducing #3
May I present, in one of her first public photographs, Vorhis baby number three:
Her name is _____________ ________________ Vorhis. (We've decided a name but we are not telling anyone). She is due September 1, 2008.
To answer the questions everyone has and has already asked:
1) I didn't have a gender preference- just want one that is healthy.
2) Yes, this is the last one.
3) Yes, we will have 3 kids under the age of 4.
4) No we have not applied to be on Super Nanny yet.
5) We already have a minivan.
6) Who needs sleep anyway.
Her name is _____________ ________________ Vorhis. (We've decided a name but we are not telling anyone). She is due September 1, 2008.
To answer the questions everyone has and has already asked:
1) I didn't have a gender preference- just want one that is healthy.
2) Yes, this is the last one.
3) Yes, we will have 3 kids under the age of 4.
4) No we have not applied to be on Super Nanny yet.
5) We already have a minivan.
6) Who needs sleep anyway.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Anything you can do, I can do; kind of...
Olivia loves her big brother. She wants to be just like him in almost every way. When Evan plays with a car, Olivia plays with a car. When Evan goes pee, Olivia tries to go pee.
When Evan dips his cracker in his juice,
Olivia dips her cracker in her juice...
damn straw cups.
When Evan dips his cracker in his juice,
Olivia dips her cracker in her juice...
damn straw cups.
Thirsty...
It can be very hot here in Florida. It is important to stay well hydrated. After a long morning of following Evan around and doing everything he does, Olivia is parched. She then faces a real dilemma: milk or apple juice (or prune juice on those days when you need a little help to get the Cosby kids to the pool). Milk is important for building strong bones. After all, you don't want to start preschool all osteoporotic. But, on the other hand, juice is so delicious and full of sugar. And some times prune juice is simply a must.
Olivia has recognized this conundrum as a false dilemma. As you can see the answer is simple:
Olivia has recognized this conundrum as a false dilemma. As you can see the answer is simple:
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Two items of note.
In the following video, check out Olivia's whimsical and overwhelmingly happy reponse to a bubble machine and my wife's distribingly bright yellow pants.
Mommy vs. Daddy
Olivia is about one and a half now and usually sleeps through the night. She goes to sleep easily holding one of her many blankets.
From time to time she will cry out, usually around 3-4 am. When I wake up to her crying, I usually wait to see if Beth will wake up and deal with it. Eventually Beth wakes up, looks at the clock, and asks me to take care of it.
Last night, Olivia woke up and started crying. I stumbled down to her room and slowly opened the door. As I opened the door, she stopped crying. As I entered the room, the silence was broken by, "Daddy? No! No! Daddy No! Mommy? Mommy! Baby Mommy!"
I asked her, "Do you want me to get mommy?" She replied "Yes! Yes!" Baby Mommy!".
I spoke loudly into the baby monitor, "She wants her mommy... nothing I can do."
I totally won that round of Mommy vs. Daddy.
From time to time she will cry out, usually around 3-4 am. When I wake up to her crying, I usually wait to see if Beth will wake up and deal with it. Eventually Beth wakes up, looks at the clock, and asks me to take care of it.
Last night, Olivia woke up and started crying. I stumbled down to her room and slowly opened the door. As I opened the door, she stopped crying. As I entered the room, the silence was broken by, "Daddy? No! No! Daddy No! Mommy? Mommy! Baby Mommy!"
I asked her, "Do you want me to get mommy?" She replied "Yes! Yes!" Baby Mommy!".
I spoke loudly into the baby monitor, "She wants her mommy... nothing I can do."
I totally won that round of Mommy vs. Daddy.
First attempt at videos
Like every adoring parent, I have a video camera. So I shoot a bunch of video of the kids which sits around on tapes in a closet. Maybe someday, when the kids are grown, they will watch the tapes and realize how messy the house always was and how their parents avoided being on camera at all costs. Luckily, I have a video camera in my phone that transfers to the computer with little to no effort. In order to actually make use of these videos, I will try to post them online from time to time.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Inconspicuous Beginnings
Just like many other things in my life, I have very little time to put into a blog. That being said, I have been wanting to start one for a while because as life gets busier and I get older and have more children, it is hard to remember all that happens in one's life (and when it happened). I would like this blog to be something family and friends can look at from time to time to see what is going on with the Vorhis family. For now, if anyone happens to stumble onto this blog, they will have to be patient and understand that I have to be in court in half an hour; have 2 trials next week and a writ due on Monday... the cute family stories and waxing philosophic will have to wait...
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